Boxing

I went boxing today after work, GREAT exercise! But now my hands are shaking and I realized definetly need some more arm muscles :)

Distant Dreamer

What a great weekend it has been again. The sun has been out, the weather has been warm, there was a free stand up festival, we barbacued and I took my first dip in the ocean this year.

Today I sat up on my roof after coming home from work and listened to this song.

I'm thinking about,
all the things,
I'd like to do in my life...

Spring is coming to town

What a beautiful day it has been today...for the first time it really feels like spring is here and the sun has been shining during the whole day. I have spent most of the day at Kungsträdgården with some friends and I have also met one of my blogfriends for the first time. Maria, thanks for a couple of really nice hours in the sun with some icecream :)
Hope you all had a really good day!

Cafées

A good friend of mine says that the best way of meeting people is going alone to cafes and sit and read or do something else. I decided that I am going to try it and see what happens. I have to admit that it is way more pleasent to go to a cafe´, order a green tea, sit down and read a book and watch people instead of sitting home alone on your couch and read the book. To sum it up, I have come to the conclusion that this is a great way of spending time with yourself.
Anyway, I did this today for the first time, first I went to one café and sat there and read for a while. Then I went for a walk and ended up in another place and I had only sat there for just a few minutes, when an eldery man came up to me and asked me to help him with some swedish words, he told me he had moved here from Iraq in october 2007. We eneded up talking for two hours and I told him about the swedish society, and a lot of things were very strange for him. When I told him about people living together without being married, about gay marriges and so on, he was just stunned. But he took it very well, and he seemed like a very smart man.
So, this is something that usually only happens when I travel... or that is probably because I have never got into the routine to go alone to cafés when being home. :) I think today was a proof that this should be a new hobby of mine, just to go to cafés to read a book, and see if something else happens or not :)

I am beat....

Today my whole body is aching and I feel like I am getting sick....I think it is because of the very intense last week.
Not only did I once again have to make a new decision to say no to the manager position (although I am flattered that they called and asked me to reconsider) but 90% of our unit was sold to another company, and people were very upset with that. I belong to the remaining 10% who is staying on the original company, but for quite a while we did not know where we belong to. Then the week continued with the three day long grief recovery workshop, and I continued using the tools I have learned to grief some other people during the weekend, and now I am just beat.....I guess it is my body saying that I need to stop for a while, and that is what I am going to do. I am not going to train as I planned to, instead I am going to go home and take a long warm bath.

just....

My mum definetly thought me the most valuable lesson I have ever gotten. She showed me how to NOT live my life, what to NOT do to become unhappy.
Anyway, I am finally starting to realx after this hectic week. I am sitting on my sofa, under a dowblanket. I have watched TV for an hour and been eating some candy and potatoe chips and just pampered myself with whatever I want. Soon I will take a nice and warm bubblebath to really start the weekend, and later on I´ll watch a movie.
Tonight it is MY evening and that feels SOO good.
Later!

Project!

I got my own multimillion kronor worth project!! :)
I feel quite confident about it as one of my co-workers, who I admire the most of the projectmanagers will be my mentor. I definetly want to be as good as him (although I will never be as smart ;)) I don´t know yet when I will start the project, but I think it will be next week.
Tomorrow we are also going to see Circue du Soleil with my Love, I am REALLY looking forward to that although I got a bit afraid that I will get disappointed. I read that the focus will not be on acrobatics but on the music in this piece...but we´ll see, I have never seen Circue du Soleil before, so I think it will be good :)
(Picture taken from http://www.cirquedusoleil.com)

Nothing interesting

I am sooo tired. This was a good weekend, but it made me tired.
On saturday evening my friend had a birthday party. It was nice hanging out there with all her gay friends :) Later in the evening we went out dancing and that was so much fun! I did nothing else besides danced and let me tell you, I was not dry when I went home. I was so sweaty that it looked like a drowned cat! But it was worth it, dancing out all the negative energy.

On sunday evening me and the birthday girl went to see the swedish comedian Jonas Gardell. I really liked the show, although I thought that the one I saw a couple of years was better, but we still got a good laugh :)



(picture taken from www.sundsvall.nu)

Palm reading

Yesterday evening me and my BF where cuddled up on my bed and where just feeling cozy together. Suddenly he got the idea to start doing palm reading on each other. We got the instructions on how the read palms from a book that I have with a lot of short and random information about everything.
Some of the stuff where accurate and some a bit less accurate, but apparently we are both going to die a sudden death for example (AIKS!!). Anyway, that was not the most interesting part of the palm reading. Apparently the left hand is supposed to show you your past and the right hand your future. My left hand showed me bad luck and a short life, while my right hand shows me the opposite!! Even if I don’t believe in this stuff so much, I still find it symbolic that this is what my hands are telling me about my life. Now I feel like I have proof, or something, (or whatever) that even if you get a rough start in life, it can still turn out well in the future. :)
I am not the kind of person that believes too much in horoscopes, psychics or other stuff like that, but I usually choose to believe in the things that sound good and beneficial for my future. Isn’t that a good way of believing? :)

Shoes

I have never been a shoe person, although that trait seems to be increasing with age. :)
Today I was sitting and waiting for the subway and I started looking at peoples shoes without looking at anything else. It was actually extremely interesting, because so many times I felt like the shoes did not fit the person who was wearing them or the oufit they where wearing.
I saw a pair of shoes and thought it was a young hip person, then I looked at the outfit and I got a bit more uncertain about the person, and as I saw the face it was not at all somebody who I imagined for those shoes. It felt like the shoes had their own lives, and maybe it is true that the shoes tells a lot about a person?
I don´t think I actually ever before have looked at people from the bottom up, and just finding personalities in the shoes. It was interesting and a new experience for me :)

More about routine...

I am going to continue a bit on the topic routines. Yesterday I started to excersise again. I have had a summer "vacation"(the truth is I have been lazy) of three months and it felt SO good to do something with my body again. I did the dance aerobics class and it was so much fun. On thursday I will probably go and do some funk. So, I want to create another routine, do dance aerobics on mondays and funk on thursdays (I tried to this last year but for some reason it did´nt quite become a routine), or at least excersise twice a week. It is amazing how much more energy you get from getting a bit sweaty on a regular basis. And I do need some more energy, now I am more a couch potatoe than human....
And one more routine that I might want to create. I would like to take a warm bubblebath and have a glass of wine on every friday evening, just to help me get into the weekendmood faster.
Lets see how it goes :)

50 great things about life

How wonderful wouldn´t it be, if you would always remember how good simple things in life can feel....This will make you happy:

Do you remember how it feels to:
1. Be in love
2. Laugh so much that your stomach hurts
3. Take a warm Bath
4. Seeing the perfect sunset and smelling the summernight
5. Get a special look from somebody and feel like you are the best in the world
6. Get an e-mail
7. Get an unexpected gift
8. Hear your favourite song in the radio
9. Lay on the bed and listen to the rain
10.Feel a warm towel
11.Find the shirt you want on sale
12.Milkshake, chocolate or strawberry
13.A hours long phonecall
14.Travel somewhere far away
15.Laugh so much that you cry
16.Smell the flowers in the summer
17.The way the sand feels between your toes on the beach
18.Find money from the pocket of your old jacket
19.Think that your own jokes are funny
20.Get a phonecall from the one you love
21.Run trough that thing that waters the grass
22.Laugh without a reason
23.Have friends that you can brag about to your other friends
24.Watch a good movie that makes you cry
25.Have friends that you know really love you
26.Hear somebody saying something good about you
27.Wake up and realize that you can sleep in
28.A first kiss
29.Play with a pet
30.Feel somebody playing with your hair.
31.Having sweet dreams that you don´t want to wake up from
32.The smell of fresh coffee
33.Go on a trip to have fun with your friends
34.Swing really high
35.Finish a job and know that you have done it very well
36.Get new friends and gather up with you old friends
37.Sing really loud, even if you sing badly
38.Walk around naked in your apartment
39.Dance around naked in your apartment
40.Listen to good music
41.Bake, and then feel the smell of fresh bread
42.Get a homemade present from your friend
43.Feel the sun in your face and the wind in your hair
44.See your friend laugh and smile
45.Hold the hand of the person you love
46.Get a hug
47.Meet an old friend and realize that you have changed for the better
48.Smell a newly cut lawn
49.Hearing I love you from somebody you love
50.Feeling so good about yourself that you want to give yourself a hug......which I think you should do right now! :)

Summer 2007

The few days before my vacation was ending I said to my BF that I have´nt really done anything this summer, but I soon realized that was´nt true.
During this summer I have travelled in Italy, spent a wonderful midsummer in Norrland, painted my nude selfportrait, read two books, spent a week in Finland (and even got a chance to go out in the archipelago again :)), renewed my blog, been to concerts and just relaxed in Stockholm. In the end it has been a good summer with a lot of activities and freedom.
I ended my vacation by going to see the Pride parade. I was a bit disappointed in it this year though, I felt the festival and carnival feeling was a lot stronger last year. But when the parents of homosexuals walked by, I almost started crying. They seemed so proud of their children and the love they seemed to feel was amazing...
Now the fall is arriving and I am actually not really sad about it as I have so many activities planned for the next two months also, a trip to Åland, the tattoo convention, my 30th birthday, circus soleil, a trip to Paris and of course "parkteatern" many times a week this month.
And I am going to tell you a secret.... I have started working, but as I have flexible hours, I am able to sneak out in the sun in the afternoon and do some work later in the evening instead, so the summer is not entirely over ;)

Html code

The weather is crappy outside, so I started playing with the html code on my blog. I still need to create a better header and yes I know, the blog is very messy right now, but have patience, it will get better :)

Archipelago

I am back in my hometown where I lived for my first 20 years. It is a small summertown with about 10.000 people and it is very beautiful in many ways. I always get a bit anxious when I get back here as I feel I get too close to the past. But this time I am trying to just stay calm and I am trying to not get sucked into the bad emotions. So far I have been able to keep a distance between my past and the person I am today, although I feel it is really hard.
When I was a kid we were a lot out in the archipelago with my cousin and her family. It has been many years since last time I was out in the archipelago with them, but yesterday I got the chance to go out with them again and it was very nice.
The time I spent on the ocean and on the islands as a child are actually some of the happiest memories I have from childhood (feels good to think about the happy memories too :)). We spent so much time out in the archipelago that I know the shapes and the looks of most of the islands. I remember having seagrass fights, fishing, walking around the islands, frog hunting, being scared of snakes, swimming, sun, waves, eating donuts and drinking soda and just having a generally good feeling.
I just love the ocean, it makes me feel calm.
..................
skärgården, havet

A summer day

Yesterday me and a friend of mine barbecued on my roof terrace. It went a lot better than you would assume from the picture. :) Considering neither of us had barbecued before and we randomly got scared of setting the house on fire, the food tasted excellent and it was awesome to have some real scandinavian summer food. Real scandinavian summer food is barbecued meat, sallad and fresh potatoes.
In the evening I went with my boyfriend to the Stockholm Jazz Festival and we listened to the wonderful swedish artist Laleh, I have never heard her before, even if she is pretty big here in Sweden. I reallly liked her, in my opinion she was a mix between Lisa Ekdahl and Bjork. Her stage apperance was a bit of Tomas di Leva, but it still worked for her. I am definetly going to buy her CD.
The main artist of the evening was Ziggy Marley. It is the closest I have ever gotten to Bob Marley, as I saw his son on stage :) I thought quite a lot about how it must have been and how it must have felt to listen to Bob Marley when he was still alive and when the hippie movement was at is biggest, it must definetly have been a great experience.
Anyway, it was a good day!
...................
grilling, sommar, musik

Roof terrace top ten list

My top ten list about my newly found roof terrace. :)
1) You have sun from early morning until late evening (unless it is cloudy of course)
2) It is pretty much bugs fee beacuse it is so high up
3) You have a 360 degree view of stockholm
4) You can sunbathe nude if you feel like it
5) Hardly anybody is ever there so you can be there by yourself most of the time
6) No disturbing people or kids around you that keep screaming in you ear.
7) In the wintertime you can go up there and make a snowman
8) As it is so high up you will usually feel a breeze and you won´t get too sweaty
9) It is so close to home so if you are tight on time you can still easily get up there and get some sun.
10) I can take silly pictures without anybody seeing me. :)

My roof terrace!

I made a great finding the other day. We have a roof tearrace in our house!! Imagine how happy I got as I don´t have a balcony or anyhting, but now I can sit on the roof, with a view of the whole Stockholm, do some painting, do some reading, do some sunbathing or whatever else I want. HAPPY! :)
....................
takterass

I WANT TO GO BACK!!

Back to reality.....and feeling really, really crappy. I feel sad, unsettled, unhappy and uncomfortable. I just want to go back to the peace, safety and silence.
I guess this tells you I had an awesome time. Our midsummer was perfect and just as I wanted it to be. We made a "midsommar krans", I cooked a three course meal to my BF´s parents and us, as I wanted my BF´s mum just to be able to enjoy a good dinner without lifting a finger, as she is always the one behind the stove. They were all extremly greatful which made me feel good, I had succeeded in what I wanted to achive.
The weather actually turned out to be warmer and sunnier than in Stockholm, which proves I did not make that bad of a choice after all :)
I am just having the holiday blues, wanting to be somewhere else than where I am. Longing for the beauty of the nature and the peace that it gives me......I really need to move out of city, into the suburb closer to nature....
PS. I got confirmed that I will get a 3300 kr (360€) salary raise. :) That should cheer me up.....but it doesn´t....I just want to go back.... :( I am gonna cry.....
..........................
midsommar, semester, avslappning, mat

Julio Iglesias

A good friend of mine got free tickets to see a concert with Julio Iglesias today. It is interesting, because it is a name that I have heard for years and years, but I have never really payed any attention to who his is. Now I know why, it is not really my kind of music, but it was still a very pleasent evening being at the concert.
It was an outside concert and we were sitting there enjoying the evening breeze, mostly being a bit immature, giggling, watching the people around us, eating candy and sipping a glass of wine. This was the first night that really felt like summer and once again I just felt this overwhelming happiness of living in Stockholm. We walked by the water back to the city center, smelling the flowers blooming in the night, and just enjoying life.
So even if "Hulio" ;) was´nt that mindblowing, he made the evening perfect.
Summer nights....here we come! :)
..............
Julio Iglesias, sommar, avslappnig