Happiness?

I have been thinking a lot about happiness lately. Mostly I think about it in the mornings when I wake up, because for some reason, the bad things always comes first into my mind when I wake up. I don´t want to have that kind of a start of the day. I would rather have happy thoughts when I wake up, or maybe not even happy, but at least just neutral and peaceful thoughts.
I definetly belive that happiness and satisfaction comes from the inside, of course outside factors affects you, but that is still not what rules you and your happiness, or it should´nt.
It is a lot easier to look outside yourself for what can bring you happiness, because then you can remove the responsibility from yourself and you can blame other things for not being happy. But when I for example wake up, and the first thoughts I get into my head is the bad things, how can that be anybody elses responsibility but mine?
I am going to work more on living in the moment, and worrying less about the future or the past. Another thing I want to work on is knowing what I can control and what is out of my control, that is a hard one....Relaxing a bit more in the everyday routine life and being able to feel peaceful about "the boring life" is another thing. Realizing that the real life is not on adventures around the world but the everyday life you live most of the time.
The Buddhists are right in many things.

Project!

I got my own multimillion kronor worth project!! :)
I feel quite confident about it as one of my co-workers, who I admire the most of the projectmanagers will be my mentor. I definetly want to be as good as him (although I will never be as smart ;)) I don´t know yet when I will start the project, but I think it will be next week.
Tomorrow we are also going to see Circue du Soleil with my Love, I am REALLY looking forward to that although I got a bit afraid that I will get disappointed. I read that the focus will not be on acrobatics but on the music in this piece...but we´ll see, I have never seen Circue du Soleil before, so I think it will be good :)
(Picture taken from http://www.cirquedusoleil.com)

More about routine...

I am going to continue a bit on the topic routines. Yesterday I started to excersise again. I have had a summer "vacation"(the truth is I have been lazy) of three months and it felt SO good to do something with my body again. I did the dance aerobics class and it was so much fun. On thursday I will probably go and do some funk. So, I want to create another routine, do dance aerobics on mondays and funk on thursdays (I tried to this last year but for some reason it did´nt quite become a routine), or at least excersise twice a week. It is amazing how much more energy you get from getting a bit sweaty on a regular basis. And I do need some more energy, now I am more a couch potatoe than human....
And one more routine that I might want to create. I would like to take a warm bubblebath and have a glass of wine on every friday evening, just to help me get into the weekendmood faster.
Lets see how it goes :)

Routines

It is strange, I just have a good feeling today, maybe it is because I realized that I have routines in my life that I actually like. As I have written before I have had a problem with routines, when life becomes that every day life with not too many changes or suprises I almost freak out. My last ten years has been filled with changes, and I have never worked in one place for longer than 7 months (this because most employments has been project based) and since I moved away from home, ten years ago, I have not lived in one place for longer than 1,5 years.
I have soon worked at the same place for a year, and yes, I have felt the ants in the pants and that is why I have been applying for jobs, just to make sure I can get a change if I want to. But this weekend I realized that I love going to work every day, I love the fact that I have gotten good friends at work and that I know a lot of people there. There are actually other routines that I have that I like also, like when we are walking my BF´s dog, (and having good discussions at the same time) this same way by the water that we almost always walk. We have a favourite place that we have been swimming at and sunbathed at during the summer, that was also kind of a summer routine. Laying on the couch watching movies snuggled up with my BF is one routine that I would not want to miss.
Hmm....I guess I am not as hostile towards routines as I used to be, I need to start figuring out more routines that I like :)

50 great things about life

How wonderful wouldn´t it be, if you would always remember how good simple things in life can feel....This will make you happy:

Do you remember how it feels to:
1. Be in love
2. Laugh so much that your stomach hurts
3. Take a warm Bath
4. Seeing the perfect sunset and smelling the summernight
5. Get a special look from somebody and feel like you are the best in the world
6. Get an e-mail
7. Get an unexpected gift
8. Hear your favourite song in the radio
9. Lay on the bed and listen to the rain
10.Feel a warm towel
11.Find the shirt you want on sale
12.Milkshake, chocolate or strawberry
13.A hours long phonecall
14.Travel somewhere far away
15.Laugh so much that you cry
16.Smell the flowers in the summer
17.The way the sand feels between your toes on the beach
18.Find money from the pocket of your old jacket
19.Think that your own jokes are funny
20.Get a phonecall from the one you love
21.Run trough that thing that waters the grass
22.Laugh without a reason
23.Have friends that you can brag about to your other friends
24.Watch a good movie that makes you cry
25.Have friends that you know really love you
26.Hear somebody saying something good about you
27.Wake up and realize that you can sleep in
28.A first kiss
29.Play with a pet
30.Feel somebody playing with your hair.
31.Having sweet dreams that you don´t want to wake up from
32.The smell of fresh coffee
33.Go on a trip to have fun with your friends
34.Swing really high
35.Finish a job and know that you have done it very well
36.Get new friends and gather up with you old friends
37.Sing really loud, even if you sing badly
38.Walk around naked in your apartment
39.Dance around naked in your apartment
40.Listen to good music
41.Bake, and then feel the smell of fresh bread
42.Get a homemade present from your friend
43.Feel the sun in your face and the wind in your hair
44.See your friend laugh and smile
45.Hold the hand of the person you love
46.Get a hug
47.Meet an old friend and realize that you have changed for the better
48.Smell a newly cut lawn
49.Hearing I love you from somebody you love
50.Feeling so good about yourself that you want to give yourself a hug......which I think you should do right now! :)

Feeling good

Spontanious work related appreciation recived from others, during today and yesterday:
1. A person higher than me in the hierachy told me that he thinks it is good that I am trying to get things in place and solve things. He told me to not give up because it is neccessary work that needs to be done.
2. One of the bosses wrote me an email saying it was admirable that I have the strength to try to solve all the different things that I am trying to solve and told me I am doing a great job and also told me to not give up.
3. One of my co-workers told me that it is because of me he has the strength to carry on with his work and he thinks it is admirable how much I get done.
4. My own boss told me that she is very happy with my work. The salary negotiations are in the fall for all employees but she is going to try to arrange a salary negotiation for me before the summer to try to get me a salary rise right now instead.
So I guess I can be pretty satisfied and feel good about myself :) Although it slightly feels like they don´t know what they are talking about and I am not as good as they say. But I appreciate all the nice feedback I get. :)
............
arbete, framgång, ledarskap, lycka

balance

I realized something today....I get unhappy when I get too involved in one thing. I feel sad today because I have only had time to focus on work the last few days. I feel sad when I am obsessing about my boyfriend becuase I am worried about him and how he is doing (I guess there are valid reasons to feel sad if he is not doing good...)I feel sad when I am too social and don´t have time for myself. I feel sad when I am too much alone and not being social. I feel sad if I am thinking too much about myself and not paying attention to other people.
Yin and Yang....the chineese are pretty wise :)

My "ME" day

Today I have taken the day off from work to just spend some time with myself and to relax. I woke up this morning feeling good and the first thoughts were about how I am going to spend this day with myself. That is something I usually do when I wake up. I reflect over my dreams and se how I feel and then I reflect over my first thoughts when I wake up.
Yesterday I read an article about people who have someone close to them that is depressed and in the article it said that you can´t and should not avoid the negative feelings you are going to feel every now and then about this person (not too different from anybody you interact with actually). You just need to figure out a way to handle the feelings. I guess that is what I need to do.....Good and Bad, Yin and Yang
Anyway, this day is about ME!
Ok, a deep breath...........what do I want to do today......? I am going to eat chocolate for breakfast, and then I am going to read a book for a while. I already started my ME day last evening by taking a bath so I am going to think about that feeling. Then I probably will go out and take a walk in the sun and then I might paint something...yes, that would be nice!! To paint :) I need to relax.....