Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Helpless and useless

I feel anxiety, sadness and fear. My love is having a hard time right now and I am suffering with him. The only problem is that he is shutting me out, he is not letting me into his world and I don´t know what to do. I can´t do anything to help him and he knows that.
I don´t know how to handle the situation and I am so afraid that he is not going to want to be in this life anymore. I am so scared and I feel so useless.
His situation is affected by outside factors that is making him feal fear, probably a overwhelming fear that is taking control of him. I wish I could be in his mind so that I could help him get control of his thoughts and his feelings. I wish that I could be like soft silk smoothing upp all the harsh emotions tearing him apart. I wish I could be a samurai warrior that could slay the dragons that are buring his heart with fire. I wish I could be an angel that would have the power to take away all the bad things. But I am none of this....I am just a normal human being trying to do her best, and her best is not enough....it is not even close to enough.
Tears are falling down on my cheeks, I feel like screaming, I wish somebody could take this feeling of helplessness away from me, but nobody can. Nobody can help me help him....
.......................
rädsla, depression, hjälplöshet, kärlek

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Åhh... stackars dig och stackars honom. Den maktlösheten man känner när man står vid sidan om den man älskar, den som lider så, den känslan av vanmakt är så smärtfull och du beskriver det så andäktigt fint, ändå. Jag hoppas att han förstår att du finns där när han är redo att kliva ur sitt skal. Män har ju ett större behov av att "gå in i grottan" när de lider, kvinnor vill ju hellre prata och det är i olikheterna vi lider mest ibland. Kramar om!

P I F F L A N said...

Tack lilltanten!
Jo maktlöshet är inge kul, man vet inte vart man ska vända sig...
Stor kram tillbaka!