Pressure

I guess we all have pressure in our lives, some more and some less. This week I am "stand-in" for a project manager for a project, and I have to admit I love it, although I feel the pressure. The reason why I love it som much is that I get an adrenalin kick from doing good, succeding, getting positive feedback and I LOVE when people listen to me and act as if I am the boss....so what I am I doing, egotripping? :) It kind of sounds like it, but I think that is what most people do who are ambitious. We all have our things that turns us on and makes us want more and move on. I guess this is my thing, I love when I can improve things and make things happen.
At the same time I am terrified that I will not succed, and that I will make a mistake. Or what if I am not as good as everybody thinks and I will let everybody down? What if I can´t handle the pressure and I will ruin everything? It is the devil on my shoulder who is whispering bad thoughts in my ear. He knows about my past, that I am just a simple girl from a poor family with a alcoholic mother who did not have any friends as a child and was the weirdo....that girl is feeling insecure in the new woman who has grown up, she doesnt think she deserves what she is getting and she does not belive in herself....once again the past is haunting me.....DAMN IT!