My hated bubble

In my bubble I am safe.
I am safe from everybody else besides myself.
In my bubble I fight my inner war,
which makes me hurt even more.
My bubble is destructive,
and I hate that it is so seductive....
...

PostSecret

I have a link on my blog called: "PostSecret". Every Sunday, a man called Frank Warren publishes postcards sent by random people with their secrets. But you are not allowed to just write your secrets, the concept is that a picture tells more than a thousand words.
I visited the site again today and I just got overwhelmed by the humanity of the site. Somehow visiting the site made me feel like I am ok, I am just a humanbeing among everybody else and nobody is perfect.
My vacation is soon over and this week I have been thinking a lot about my life and about myself. The disappointments, the happines, the sadness, the fears, the love and just life in general. Renewing my blog has been my way of telling about this and my posts has also been more creative this week. I have really missed just creating stuff, and I really need to try to do some more of that once I start working as well....
I feel like I am growing and starting to accept myself a bit more. My final destination on my journey is still quite far away but I have taken a few careful steps this week. At least I am on my way.....

Brain

Somebody poking in your corrupt brain,
might cause you to think:
"you are insane".

html coding

Becoming a bit better....Still more work to do... Apperantly it does not look as good on other computers as mine....need to investigate...

Html code

The weather is crappy outside, so I started playing with the html code on my blog. I still need to create a better header and yes I know, the blog is very messy right now, but have patience, it will get better :)

Stay

Sometimes you just want to fly away,
but you stay,
because you want everything to be ok...

Nightmare 2

I had a nightmare last night. I was dreaming that I was in my childhood town and I was hanging out with my family. The feeling in the dream was horrible. First I am let down by my dad in the same way as I was in reality, I feel the same feelings of confusion, sadness and unisgnificanse, but then the dream continues. In my dream my mum is alive, although she is way more beautiful and younger, she does not even look like herself. My BF is also around and we have an argument and I start thinking about his ex, Bianca. My mum apperantly reminds him of his ex and he says that she behaves exactly like her and he asks why I can´t behave in the same way? I feel that something is wrong but I cannot put my finger on it. I go back to visit with my friends and dont think about it. Then I give him a call, and while I am talking to him I am walking into his bedroom, and while I am walking I see him and my mum on his bed, snuggled up together, and I ask him if he is choosing my mum and he says yes.
I run out of the room, I am crying my eyes out, I am feeling desperate, confused, lost and betrayed. I sit down and talk with a friend of mine who tells me to cheer up, I can´t belive she is telling me that. I run away to buy some sushi while I am still crying and feeling really bad. My realtives are suddenly around me and my dad is there. I feel no compassion from my dad, I feel some compassion from my relatives, but there is nothing they can do. I make one of my cousines call my BF and ask if he is sure about his choice and he just says I don´t know and refuses to talk to me. I feel so let down and I feel like there is nothing I can do about it. Then I wake up.
..........................
mardröm