What a great weekend it has been again. The sun has been out, the weather has been warm, there was a free stand up festival, we barbacued and I took my first dip in the ocean this year.
Today I sat up on my roof after coming home from work and listened to this song.
I was on a concert on friday, with this (in my opinion) rising star! So I want to share her music with you. Take a moment and listen to her, and let me know what you think! :)
http://www.myspace.com/edithmusic
I just find this song so beautiful...and I also find it interesting how the person who has mixed this video has been able to transform the good feeling childrens movie Shrek to such a depressive movie....I guess it is all a matter how you see things.........
He came and picked up his stuff from my place today and we exchanged keys.
We told eachother that we love eachother and we hugged eachother. while the tears were flowing down my cheeks.
I have been cyring so much that I can hardly see.
The pain is so great that I feel like puking and like I cant breath.
I have had an urge to write a post, and I don´t know why... Maybe it is because I have so many thoughts, memories and feelings flying around in my head.
I have been thinking about the last year and a half and the person who has been closest to me. There is a lot of feelings of love surrounding that person...
I have been thinking about my work, and how you have to be really good with people in order to succeed. How everybody can´t like you but you still need to find a way to get along with everybody.
I have been thinking about life and how I am growing and changing all the time. How I am getting closer and closer to the serenity I want to feel in my life, and how much I affect my own feelings.
I have been thinking about acceptance and what acceptance brings into you life. Acceptance is not the same as surrendering and I think that is not always so easy to understand.
I can´t really explain in words what I feel right now. But I will add a song from my past. This song is not linked to any person, this song is just linked to me, the young teenager 15 years ago, who longed for love and acceptance and who played this song on repeat, on high volume and sang along, and maybe for the first time felt that she loved and cared for herself....
Today my low selesteem is GONE! It was officially announced to the organization that I am going to be the total project manager for this project, and I am SO excited to start running MY project :) I know there will be bumps in the road, but I am visioning success and I think it will turn out ok.
The real deal starts tomorrow!
I also want to share the song "Learning to fly" by the genious Pink Floyd. It represents my life...
I went to my dance class today again. We danced to the old Elton John song "I´m still standing". That song means so much to me. I know it is about a broken heart, but for me, the song has always been about still standing in life and being a winner in life despite everything. For me it is a very powerful song, and it was perfect to dance to it today. I am amazed how my life is at the moment, with the possible promotion, my love, my friends, my home, everything!
I am just so happy that I am still standing, and not just standing, I am dancing! :)
PS. check out the hilarious video from the 80`s :)
Yesterday I went out to this underground tranceparty. Theese parties are a lot like the raves in the 1990´s and like most people think, there is a lot of drugs involved. I don´t do drugs myself but I still enjoy going to theese parties every now and then. The trance music is so hypnotizing and if you are stressed or in a bad mood or something it can feel really good to just let the beat move your body and dance away all the negative emotions. Analog pussies (on the picture above) were the "live act" at this party and I kind of liked the fact that there was not only a dj up there but it was a bit more of a perfomance to watch.
I do find it appealing to every now and then experience this subculture because is so very far away from the enviroment and the people I am working with every day. I feel that my work enviroment is the very essence of what people are supposed to do in society and most of the people seemes to be formed by the society, and don´t feel any reason to challenge the rules society has set. The fact is that I could never imagine most of the people I am working with to even consider being part of this culture, or even knowing that it exsists. The underground trance culture on the other hand is: Underground. It is in a way a partly forbidden world, a world that you don´t really talk about too much publicly. I feel it is extremly liberating to be part of two very different cultures and knowing that I feel a sence of belonging in both places. It is hard to explain, but I guess it is about being a complex person fitting into different places, being more than what appears at the first glance. It is about the freedom to choose who you want to be at that moment or which part of you, you wish to bring forward.
Anyway, I do have a bit of a hangover today, so I need to go and do something else.
Yesterday me and a friend of mine barbecued on my roof terrace. It went a lot better than you would assume from the picture. :) Considering neither of us had barbecued before and we randomly got scared of setting the house on fire, the food tasted excellent and it was awesome to have some real scandinavian summer food. Real scandinavian summer food is barbecued meat, sallad and fresh potatoes.
In the evening I went with my boyfriend to the Stockholm Jazz Festival and we listened to the wonderful swedish artist Laleh, I have never heard her before, even if she is pretty big here in Sweden. I reallly liked her, in my opinion she was a mix between Lisa Ekdahl and Bjork. Her stage apperance was a bit of Tomas di Leva, but it still worked for her. I am definetly going to buy her CD.
The main artist of the evening was Ziggy Marley. It is the closest I have ever gotten to Bob Marley, as I saw his son on stage :) I thought quite a lot about how it must have been and how it must have felt to listen to Bob Marley when he was still alive and when the hippie movement was at is biggest, it must definetly have been a great experience.
Anyway, it was a good day!
...................
grilling, sommar, musik
My love bought a huge amount of LP albums for very cheap yesterday. We have´nt had time to really go trought all of them yet, but I was looking trough one of the boxes earlier today. Most of the LP´s are from the 70´s and the 80´s which means that there is a huge amount of my childhood music and memories in there.
I wouldn´t say that my musictaste was great when I was a kid. I remember that the first casette I ever owned was Sandra, the second Madonna and the third Samantha Fox. The thought of Samantha Fox always makes me smile. When I was a kid I did´nt understand that she was considered a sexsymbol, neither what she was really singing about. :) Imagine this: I am eight years old, I don´t know any english, but I am still trying to sing along to all the songs. I am sitting in the living room and my parents are watching TV. I have my headphones on while I am listening, as I don´t want to disturb my parents. I have a blanket over my head beacuse I don´t want them to see me while I am singing to the music (for some reason I did not think that this was disturbing my parents). My favourite song wa s "touch me" by Samantha Fox, and I sang along as if I understood what i was singing about. I did not know how to pronounce "touch me" so I sang "tasch me" instead. My dad tried to correct me, but I was certain I was right and kept on singing tasch me :) So there I used to sit, under the blanket, listening to my music, rewinding the tape and singing along with an uncomprehensible english :)
I saw a Samantha Fox LP in one of the boxes I searched trough today. I think I have to listen to "touch me" later tonight, and maybe my BF even will get to listen to some quality sing-a-long to that song ;)
............
barndom, musik
