Bladder infection

I get bladder infections more often than not. I have had the infection so many times that it has almost become a part of me and I almost know when it is on its way before I even really feel it. I have been able to avoid this unpleasent thing for quite a while now by drinking at least 1,5 liters of water each day, preferably 2 liters. I have been cheating a bit on the drinking and guess who is visiting again?
There is always two sides on the coin and I am trying to see the positive in everything. Drinking so much helps my skin stay younger, and I will be healthier beacuse the fluid helps me flush bacteria away. It is better to have to drink a lot of water each day than to having to take some other kind of medication each day....................But it still sucks!! And I hate to have theese infections!!
........
infektion, hälsa

Big Mouth

Aiks...I said too much at work today....it wouldn´t matter too much if it wouldn´t have been about my boss, and she heard it. Nothing too bad and nothing too serious, but I think she got a bit offended.... :/

Amsterdam

Last night we came home from our trip to Amsterdam. Today I am feeling very tired and I should maybe not write this until tomorrow, but I figure it is better to do it while everything is still "fresh".
The first two things that is very evident in Amsterdam is: Porn and drugs! This is probably no suprise for you, I feel it is common knowledge in most parts of the world that Amsterdam is very liberal when it comes to theese things.
We visited the red light district, which I have to admit I did find fascinating but also at the same time repolsive. The hardest part for me to see was that all the girls selling themselves in the windows were young pretty girls looking quite innocent. I felt sorry for them and I really hope that they are there because it is a choice they made themselves, and not because they are forced to be there by someone else...
We did also visit one coffeshop just for the sake of it, it was kind of interesting, but I did not buy any drugs. The smell of marihuana is everywhere in Amsterdam, from early morning til late in the night and the souvenir shops are filled with bongs etc. I find it fascinating that it is found as so very normal and as a part of everyday life....
However, theese things were not a big part of our trip. Our trip consisted mostly of a lot of walking, a lot of sunshine, and quite a few museums. It almost sounds boring when writing it down, but it wasn´t. I felt very happy during this trip. I was just happy to able to go out travelling again, to see new places and to spend time in the sun with a person I love. How easily pleased I am sometimes!
One of the muesums we visited was the Van Gogh museum (which was pretty impressive). We took the tram back to the city from there and our tram driver made me really happy! We wanted to buy tickets and he told us to go into the back. When we started walking, he started singing his instructions in a "opera" way, and then he even picked up the microphone and started singing to the whole tram, and I think everybody had a smile on their face after that song. How simple things can be so joyful, and how nice it feels to be in a tram full of smiling and happy faces were everybody is just in the moment and forgetting their everyday troubles that usually follows us everywhere!
All in all...when thinking back on our weekend, I just feel glad and I get a smile on my face. It was three good days, when I was able to feel like a child again (like always when travelling) and just experience new things. Just walking around on the streets and exploring ourselves and our surroundings.
I am bitten by the travelbug now and for always.... or as I maybe need to say considering that we have been in Amsterdam: Travelling is my drug! :)
.........
resor

balance

I realized something today....I get unhappy when I get too involved in one thing. I feel sad today because I have only had time to focus on work the last few days. I feel sad when I am obsessing about my boyfriend becuase I am worried about him and how he is doing (I guess there are valid reasons to feel sad if he is not doing good...)I feel sad when I am too social and don´t have time for myself. I feel sad when I am too much alone and not being social. I feel sad if I am thinking too much about myself and not paying attention to other people.
Yin and Yang....the chineese are pretty wise :)

duracell rabbit

This has been one of those days when you don´t have time to stop and think, you just go on, and on and on like a duracell rabbit. How fast time goes when you have fun....or work your ass off!

Pressure

I guess we all have pressure in our lives, some more and some less. This week I am "stand-in" for a project manager for a project, and I have to admit I love it, although I feel the pressure. The reason why I love it som much is that I get an adrenalin kick from doing good, succeding, getting positive feedback and I LOVE when people listen to me and act as if I am the boss....so what I am I doing, egotripping? :) It kind of sounds like it, but I think that is what most people do who are ambitious. We all have our things that turns us on and makes us want more and move on. I guess this is my thing, I love when I can improve things and make things happen.
At the same time I am terrified that I will not succed, and that I will make a mistake. Or what if I am not as good as everybody thinks and I will let everybody down? What if I can´t handle the pressure and I will ruin everything? It is the devil on my shoulder who is whispering bad thoughts in my ear. He knows about my past, that I am just a simple girl from a poor family with a alcoholic mother who did not have any friends as a child and was the weirdo....that girl is feeling insecure in the new woman who has grown up, she doesnt think she deserves what she is getting and she does not belive in herself....once again the past is haunting me.....DAMN IT!

focus on positive thinking

This has actually been quite a good weekend, the weather has been excellent and the flowers are blooming. The days are getting longer and hopefully we will soon have the summer here.
My boyfriend has been feeling quite good and we have actually spent some really special moments together. You know when you are in love, and sometimes you just have moments when you maybe look at eachother in a special way with a dreamy smile. Or you have a conversation about a maybe random thing, but that conversation makes you feel like you just took one more step closer to eachother. It is funny how unimportant moments become so important.
I have also been thinking about reality and personal reality. You know what I mean? Sometimes you have a personal reality that is not at all the same as the factual reality. I feel I sometimes get entangled in my personal reality that consists of unresolved feelings from the past that overwhelmes me and makes me think it is the factual reality...Have to work on that...