Half of my panamian family

The mother and daughter from my Panamian family are moving to Sweden! :)
I am so happy that I am going to see them again, I just hope that I will be able to help them get their life started here in Sweden...it is not easy finding a apartment, neither a job here in Stockholm.... :S

Midsummer

Rolemodel

I have been on course this week that has been about human skills in project management.
It has been a really interesting week, and I got a lot to think about from it. The feedback that I got from one of the leaders, has changed my perception of myself quite a bit. She said that as soon as I get control of my inner emotional chaos, I will be a very strong person for women to model themselves on....
I have NEVER thought that I would be a rolemodel for anyone, and I was amazed aout the fact that she said this. But then again, I can also see, how I am moving towards becoming this whole person and how I actually want to help people by being a strong person. I guess I feel like I am on my way to fulfilling my destiny.... just to be a little spiritual here :)

Åland

I have spent this weekend at Åland, with one of my choldhood friends and her two small kids. I LOVE Åland, it is one of the best summerplaces in the world, and when going to certain places it really feels like going 50 years back in time. Ending the weekend with sitting on the roof of my house, and feeling the wind blowing in my hair and the sun warming my face was perfect.

Boxing

I went boxing today after work, GREAT exercise! But now my hands are shaking and I realized definetly need some more arm muscles :)

Distant Dreamer

What a great weekend it has been again. The sun has been out, the weather has been warm, there was a free stand up festival, we barbacued and I took my first dip in the ocean this year.

Today I sat up on my roof after coming home from work and listened to this song.

I'm thinking about,
all the things,
I'd like to do in my life...

Sometimes

Sometimes something might be lost,
without you ever having it.
Sometimes you loose your heart,
without giving it away.
Sometimes you say goodbye,
without saying hello.
Sometimes everything is nothing,
and nothing is everything...

Its my life!

This ain't a song for the broken-hearted

A silent prayer for the faith-departed

I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd

You're gonna hear my voice

When I shout it out loud

This is for the ones who stood their ground

For Tommy and Gina who never backed down

Tomorrow's getting harder make no mistake

Luck ain't even lucky

Got to make your own breaks

Better stand tall when they're calling you out

Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

Time flies

Dragons that I used to chase
Tease me from inside
The future's uncertain
Just like yesterday....

"Oftentimes we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to. Though that doesn’t mean that we've stopped loving them or we've stopped to care. Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you."
Kezia

Time, Memory and Love

"Memory: a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what a small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things"
Pierce Harris

What a beautiful weekend it has been. The weather has been perfect and it amazing how much lighter you feel just because you can get some sun on your body.
But this weekend has been about more, it has been about the past, the present and the future. Some things feel like they just happend yesterday, although it might have been many months ago or many years ago. Some things become forgotten and lost, and will only exsist in other peoples memories.
But people that you have loved will always be a part of your memories, no matter what happens. The treasue bank with the memories from the people you have loved are usually filled with good and bad memories, but most of the time it is only the good memories that get lifted up to touch your soul and make it feel safe. Sometimes it might be the memories with the people you have loved, that brings you comfort when you feel lonely or makes you laugh when you feel bored. The memories of them is the treasure bank that can give you energy when it cannot be found in the future or the present. The people you have loved in the past might be people you need to learn to live without in your present and future, but you would still mourn them terribly if they would die because the meaning of them in your life has not become any less.
Love lasts....it just takes different shapes.

~ Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
Washington Irving

edith backlund

I was on a concert on friday, with this (in my opinion) rising star! So I want to share her music with you. Take a moment and listen to her, and let me know what you think! :)

http://www.myspace.com/edithmusic

Change

I read my whole blog yesterday, all the way from the first post about a need to write and not sure about fitting in.
The intention with my blog has changed quite a lot during time. First it was just a fun thing to do, then it became a tool to feel heard and now it is just a friend that I write to about the things happening in my life. I have become a bit more restrictive about what I write though, as my need to be heard has been fulfilled. I have been able to tell about my childhood, and I have been heard by people who has been in similar siuations. I did the griefrecovery workshoop where I felt I was allowed to let go of my mother, and since then I am not bitter any longer, instead I am able to remember the good things about my her, and the memories are no longer a stone in my shoe. I have moved the most "infected" posts to another place as I don´t feel comfortable about having them here.
There are still things I need to work on, and there always will be, and I guess that is the same for all humans, we keep growing all the time. But this blog will not be the forum for those thoughts. Nothing lasts forever, and they say that it is not the most intelligent ones or the thoughest ones that survives the evolution, it is the ones who are most adaptable to change, and I find that quite interesting. I have not yet found the new intention with this blog, if there even is one, but time will tell :)

Spring is coming to town

What a beautiful day it has been today...for the first time it really feels like spring is here and the sun has been shining during the whole day. I have spent most of the day at Kungsträdgården with some friends and I have also met one of my blogfriends for the first time. Maria, thanks for a couple of really nice hours in the sun with some icecream :)
Hope you all had a really good day!

Lollipops

One of my friends since high school came and visited me for the weekend a couple of weeks ago. She is nowadays a mum to two small children, and enjoyed just getting time for herself. I mentioned that I really like chupachups lollypops and I miss them, as they are not that easy to find here in Sweden.
Yesterday I got mail! :) She sent me lollypops and a letter. It made me really happy :)

Fear

The things we fear the most, has already happend to us.

Boredom

Life is never boring but some people choose to be bored. The concept of boredom entails an inability to use up present moments in a personally fulfilling way. Boredom is a choice; something you visit upon yourself, and it is another of those self-defeating items that you can eliminate from your life
WAYNE W. DYER, Your Erroneous Zones

I am bored right now. At my work we are still in the reorganization period and I have not been given an interesting assignment yet. I have some small things that I am working on, but not too much. Being bored at work and being single is not the best situation for me, I feel like I don´t get enough stimulation and I start thinking too much.
I guess there can´t always be something happening, but that is still kind of what I am used to and what I want. But I am going to try to see this as a challenge, as a opportunity to start learning to just be in the everyday life and with myself. I went to the libray yesterday just to read, and it was nice, because I am reading a very good book, but I realized a café is better :) And when it comes to work, I have a great opportunity to read more about strategy thinking.

Cafées

A good friend of mine says that the best way of meeting people is going alone to cafes and sit and read or do something else. I decided that I am going to try it and see what happens. I have to admit that it is way more pleasent to go to a cafe´, order a green tea, sit down and read a book and watch people instead of sitting home alone on your couch and read the book. To sum it up, I have come to the conclusion that this is a great way of spending time with yourself.
Anyway, I did this today for the first time, first I went to one café and sat there and read for a while. Then I went for a walk and ended up in another place and I had only sat there for just a few minutes, when an eldery man came up to me and asked me to help him with some swedish words, he told me he had moved here from Iraq in october 2007. We eneded up talking for two hours and I told him about the swedish society, and a lot of things were very strange for him. When I told him about people living together without being married, about gay marriges and so on, he was just stunned. But he took it very well, and he seemed like a very smart man.
So, this is something that usually only happens when I travel... or that is probably because I have never got into the routine to go alone to cafés when being home. :) I think today was a proof that this should be a new hobby of mine, just to go to cafés to read a book, and see if something else happens or not :)

Life and Malta

The roofterrace with a pool and some really nice sunshine :)

I have always had quite heavy thoughts when I wake up in the morning. Theese last few weeks my first question has been: "what is the meaning of life?" I have not come to a satisfactory answer and this morning I realized that I am asking the wrong question, beacuse there is no answer to that question, so I changed my question to: "how do I want to live my life?" Now, this is a question that I can answer and have control over....so now I just need to figure out what the answer is.

Interesting decoration

Anyway, Malta was a great weekend trip, and it felt like starting the summer a bit earlier, even the flowers smelled the same as they do here in the summertime, and it was great to feel that smell again. :)

Here are some more pics from Malta:Typical view in Malta

The city of Valetta

Malta!

Going on a last minute weekend trip to Malta!
See ya! :)